Translucence

I had something really cool (I thought) and new written for today, but I wasn't able to post it from my sister's house. Instead, I'm posting the following -- something I wrote about a year ago...

It's cold here! LOL

Good snuggling weather...

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Soulmates?

People often ask, “Have you ever met your soulmate?” I'm going to use this topic as a jumping off point and let me state from the onset that what follows is not an indictment of anyone’s views.

Now, those who know me or have been reading my rants, know my take on how love isn’t a feeling (it’s an act), and also know I scoff at the idea of a “soulmate” – considering it an adult fairy tale meant to soothe the anxious fears of those who experience themselves as alone. Upon further reflection, however, I have come to the realization that it’s not the idea of a soulmate that concerns me; it’s more what it is I believe most people are referring to when they use the phrase, soulmate. I believe most of us are actually looking for something else instead.

I’m also struck to the degree that soulmate seekers find it so hard to find their soulmates. Hey, what can I say? It’s an elaborate fairy tale, this one. LOL! Why is it so hard to find a soulmate? Because most of us are looking for egomates instead.

Bear with me a bit here. If you can imagine the human consisting of different layers, you might better understand where I’m headed here. Imagine that my ego, what everybody calls “Eddie” (and some other choice words), is merely a small part of my totality. My functioning ego (“Eddie”), serves an important purpose. Stuff like working, paying the rent, paying close attention to my erection, etc., are all important activities if I’m going to live life on a materialistic level.

However, underneath my functioning ego, there’s an aspect of myself that taps into other areas of my existence. This level is less identified with the idea of “Eddie” and serves a more spiritual function. It's more about connection and relationship.

Finally, there’s the inner stream of myself which serves to connect me to all creation. I call this the Higher Self and it has no identification with my ego, or “Eddie.” It is the stream of being and at that level, it’s not concerned too much with paying the rent or maintaining an erection.

I’m not saying that ego is bad, but I am saying that over identification with the ego alone, is a pathology. In fact, I would say most of the world’s suffering comes from holding on to a fixed idea of ego, because life is change, nothing stays the same -- not even your ego.

Most of us identify our ego with our souls – as if your personality lives on. When people speak of past lives, I find their usage of that concept to be extremely childlike -- as if their personalities have moved through an infinite and grand soap opera. This is why I guess everyone was a king or queen in their “past lives.” I find this to be a very limited view of spirituality.

The problem comes, in relation to soulmates, when we place our ego – the most unloving, selfish, and limited aspects of our selves – in charge of our search for love, and then we wonder why we aren’t succeeding.

Try to picture your ego as a film being shown on a screen. Because the frames in the film are moving at a very fast rate, we get the illusion of movement. It’s the same with our egos. The personalities we create, though they feel solid and never-ending, are actually a story we created in order to defend ourselves. Though a healthy, well-functioning ego is important, it’s not the be-all/ end-all of who we are.

To the degree that we identify with this made up story (our ego), and operate on the basis of its limited point of view, we aren’t really looking for someone to love. What we are actually doing is looking to recruit fellow actors to take on supporting roles in our personal soap opera.

Love,

Eddie